Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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