tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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