So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
