I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
