Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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