just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
