So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
