Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i just google imaged poop.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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