I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
