no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
