Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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