the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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