He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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