You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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