# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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