just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
