Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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