if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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