mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
