Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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