why didn't you poke me back
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
