They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
