I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
