I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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