I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
