**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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