Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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