i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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