Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
