Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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