mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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