To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
