I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
