Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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