Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
