I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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