I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
