He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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