Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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