True but thats because hes a fetus.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
