The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
