No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
