we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
