It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize