Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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