I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
