Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
