I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Randomize
