oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
