i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
