plz talk dirty to me
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize