but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Randomize
