But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
