We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
