Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
