Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I puked a lego.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
