i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
