Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I deserve this hangover.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
