its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
