Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Randomize
