i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
